04 January 2018

2017: A Year of Unending Grace

I'd like to believe that 2017 was a replay of 10 years ago. It was the year when I graduated high school and got into my (and my parents') dream university. I've never imagine that everything would turn out the way I wished it to be back then, especially when I have already given up on UP after failing the UPCAT. Up until now, it still amazes me how life surprises us by giving us a 180 degree turn after we have already felt defeated. I have considered hard work, effort, and, most importantly, the littlest amount of faith left in me got me to where I was. 2007 was indeed a year of achievement for me and of seeing my dreams unfolding right before my eyes.

Last year was quite the same. After a decade of dreaming, uncertainty, and numerous plot twists, and a year of extreme hard work, I finally got to graduate from law school. It still feels surreal because I can still remember taking the entrance exams at San Beda not so long ago. The past year definitely went too fast. I found myself struggling during my last semester in school. There were times when I felt defeated every single day and it was hard to keep myself together most of the time. But in law school, you never even have time to grieve. My grades were shaky then and I didn't even know if I'd make it. Just like 10 years ago, things completely changed when I have already considered that I might extend another year in school. My grades turned out fine, even the ones that I thought I'd fail. I was able to graduate and make my parents proud. And I am just glad and relieved that my hard work has paid of and that school is finally over, for good. I am thankful that I get to progress a step in my ultimate goal and see one of my dreams unfolding right before my eyes once again.

With all that has happened, I should have known better. I should have kept my faith intact but I chose to think otherwise. During the bar review, my coach would always remind me to never doubt myself. I have to say that it was one of the things that kept me going through the latter part of the year - to have people believe in me when I doubted myself. Despite the numerous codal provisions and jurisprudence that I was able to encounter during the past year, keeping my faith was probably the greatest lesson that I got to learn and I hope I get to practice it this year. Thus, I chose not to promise or resolve to do anything this year but I prayed. I asked for a heart that never falters and faith that never wavers. I believe that those are all I need to get through this year.

I've always believed that last year is like an answered subconscious prayer. Just like when you secretly expect something to come your way, but you think that it was not meant for you at all or it was not for you just yet because of a thousand reasons - you doubt yourself too much, you don't deserve it, and so on. But despite it all, the universe conspires to bless you with it anyway. Maybe it was luck, or destiny, or prayers, or hard work, but I am extremely blessed and thankful nevertheless. With a grateful heart, I am looking forward to what this year has in store for me.

XO, Mish


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